Thursday, May 23, 2013

A lot can happen in a decade...

'"Bite Roy on the neck, Montecore" she said. "It will force them to set us free" she said. "It will be the greatest thing to ever happen to us" she said.

'Now look us! We went from The Mirage to a dumpster! We had it all!'

'Shut up, Montecore. you're going to wake the baby.'

Monday, May 20, 2013

Tulip Festival 2013

So, I found this disembodied, physical representation of the world renowned Ottawa Tulip Festival not 300 yards from one of the festivals premiere destinations.

I can come to only two possible explanations as to how this monolithic tulip met its ultimate demise.

1. A group of unruly hoodlums undertook a prank far too ambitious given their limited experience in mildly upsetting the tulip enthusiast.


2. The tulip, upon being struck by an errant roman candle blast, became self aware and caught a glimpse of the 'No Dogs Allowed' sign. In protest of this ridiculous display of canine discrimination, he uprooted himself and left. Being a tulip, he did not make it far, but this selfless act for the egalitarian treatment of dogs at the Ottawa Tulip Festival will not soon be forgotten.

On second thought, its clearly the latter. If you really want to upset the tulip enthusiast, just remind them that they are in fact, a tulip enthusiast. I would find that terribly upsetting. 

And for Pete's sake! Change the no dogs rule. Its unnecessary and it hurts my dog's feelings. 

Good luck sleeping tonight with that on your conscious, Ottawa Tulip Festival operations committee.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Only in the 'Shawa

Best part about your father embracing, nay, mastering new technologies - He sends you gems like this!

Without you this (largely incoherent, and completely pointless) blog would have never been possible.

Thanks, Dad!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Authorized vehicles

*AND Party ducks

Only Permitted

Friday, May 10, 2013


from making vague 'statements' in parking lots.